Foremost, HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!! Never thought that I will be celebrating myself on this day. It's been 2 years since I started my career as a lecturer. Tak ingat if I ada bercita-cita menjadi lecturer, hmm I don't think so.. refer to my entry here. But here I am.. Surrender my position as a manager then become a lecturer. How I wish to be at the top rank in industry, a CIO maybe. That was my initial goal, so ambitious. But then, when I got married then pregnant.. suddenly goal changed hehe Hey, I'm okay to be the woman at the kitchen corner ;p
Because I know to be Me is not just about being success in my career but I wanna be a successful wife and mother too. And I am not a Superwoman that has some magic or power so I can fight my way through the rush hour, try to make it home and make sure dinner will be waiting for husband. Walaupun sekarang I tak jugak cook for dinner sangat pun ;p (anyway husband permits for me to do so) but I am happy that I can reach my cousin's place as early as 5pm, play with Amir and bathe him.
At the beginning I was just do the work so I can get paid, but now.. I am loving it! Especially when students come and thank me for the lessons taught. Such a sweet feeling. Other than my own child, I have dozens of 'children' that should be taken care of and ensure great accomplishment in their studies.
Amir has outgrown my lap, that's for sure. Masa Amir kecil dulu, sampai je rumah babysitter I just have to put him in bouncer then say bye. Okay.
Masa 5-6 bulan, if he awakes I just pass him to my causin then say bye. Nanti dia pandang aje lah, maybe tengah nak fahamkan keadaan especially when mommy wave a bye-bye and disappear.
Masa 6-7 bulan, when I say bye.. dia akan buat muka sedih like wanna go to mommy. Weeks after that dia dah pandai merengek. Kesiannya. Sedih.
Tapi start 7 months turning 8, Amir menangis! Oh dear. Pagi tadi bila sampai je rumah ibu dia, he held me tight. So tight especially bila my causin hulur tangan nak ambil dia. He turned his face to the other side like hiding his face at my neck. It takes a while for me nak pergi ke kereta balik. I put him down and play with him so that he release me. Tapi bila ibu ambil dia and I walk away, Amir start menangis like 'don't leave me mommy' while looking at me and his hands pointing to me. Mommy's crying too, dalam hati la kan ;p
Alahai sedih betul la di pagi yang hening Amir buat cerita Hindustan. Nanti masa I balik, if dia dalam walker dia akan cepat-cepat moving towards me dengan tangan terangkat muka excited! Hahaha
Kalau bukan dalam walker, maybe he's on the floor.. akan menangis sampailah mommy ambil dia. Ayyooo.
It's now mid May. 31st will be my last day at my current company. Another half a month to go. It's a mixed emotion. Somehow it feels weird and sad. I made friends here, not just colleague. I know I'll be missing them. I guess it’s always the people you get to know, how they touch your life, the different relationships you build with them, the good times, and even the not so good ones, that gets to you.
Why did I take this step? Well, I guess, I just felt the time was right to move on, another university college has offered me a better position. Not that I make any large sum of money - not by any means - but given the hit that my bank account has taken over the year, I can now breathe a little easier knowing that I can enter school with some money in my savings account. Yup, I'm going to pursue my PhD soon, InsyaAllah. Application and proposal dah submit, found and met my potential supervisor. It seems like he has no hesitation to take me as his phd candidate. Tinggal nak formalise sahaje lagi. Kalau takde ape aral, September ni register. Amir pun dah 1 tahun by that time, he will be more independent I hope. Janganlah Amir nangis bila mommy nak pergi school.
So itulah cerita Teacher's Day, emotional day, last day... and I am so glad tomorrow is PUBLIC HOLIDAY!! Weeee....
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.