Jaundice dan anak2 ku, berpisah tiada..

Jaundice; common condition untuk newborn baby. Apa yang tidak common apabila SB reading tinggi 300 and above, dan ibu dalam pantang terpaksa ulang alik klinik atau sambung menetap di hospital untuk jaga baby jaundice. For weeks! Dan ketiga-tiga anak pun jaundice high risk! Heuheu

Cerita jaundice Amir 

http://herlifetreasure.blogspot.com/2010/10/jaundice-oh-go-away.html?m=1

Dan Umar

http://herlifetreasure.blogspot.com/2013/03/2nd-son-jaundice-lagi.html?m=1

Jadi bila pregnant kan Iman ni, cuba consume virgin coconut oil dan susu kambing - katanya boleh mengelakkan jaundice. Tapi nampaknya masih terpaksa berdepan dengan baby jaundice. Hari ke-6, check kuning Iman di klinik kesihatan, the SB reading was 18.7 (317.9). Kategori high risk.

He was admitted to KPJ then for 3 days. Hari pertama turun ke 12, hari ke-2 turun lagi 9.6. Tapi doc suruh stay sementara supaya reading boleh turun lagi. Last SB reading was 7 before Iman can be discharged. 

We have to come for follow up after 3 days. I had a mixed feeling sebab after 2 days Iman discharged, nampak macam kuning2 lagi at his tounge, eyes, face and body. Ayo, my last experience with Amir and Umar - both pun prolonged jaundice.

So SB reading masa follow up was high again, doc advised suruh admit. Again. Uwaaa..

Ingatkan mungkin 1 malam aje kot, tapi SB reading after one night of phototherapy still borderline, 9.6. Kenalah stay lagi. Aduhai, nasib badan. Poor baby Iman.

First admission

Mommy and Abang Umar were so happy Iman boleh balik.

Baby Iman after first phototherapy treatment.

Not long after, kena admit balik.. Abang2 rindu nak jumpa Iman but kids are not allowed to enter nursery. So here they are at the waiting lounge

From KPJ Kajang with love.

Another Hidayat Syah - Adik Amir & Umar

It such a waste I didn't write much about my pregnancy this time. In future tak dapat nak baca. So, kalini bertekad untuk tidak procrastinate dan terus tulis. Jyeah! Lebih kurang 6 jam selepas another Hidayat Syah dilahirkan..

Macam biasa, every pregnancy, bila cecah 31w aja akan bermula la contraction. Bezanya kalini sekali aje mommy pergy emergency in case memang in labor. Disebabkan sekali itu bukanlah in labor, lain kali bila contraction attack I just duduk diam-diam kat rumah. Tapi bila 35w dah takde contractions yg kuat - which berharap jugak ada so that dilation boleh bermula. Cuma selepas 35w, rasa extra fatigue.. Sakit dekat lower abdomen, difficult to sleep - sepatutnya common and is expected masa 3rd trimester but I found out it was so difficult to deal with. Until yesterday (12/8), memandangkan harini (13/8) ada checkup dengan Prof, so nak mintak cuti seminggu. Tak boleh tahan.

13/8 Thursday, 28 Syawal.

My pregnancy turned 36w. Umar was born at 36 while amir lahir masa 37w. From the beginning i suspected memang akan deliver awal. Tapi memandangkan takde pun contraction lately, i was looking forward 37w onwards. Rasa nak nangis memikirkan lagi 2 mggu nak jalan macam penguin. 

Ceritanya, terjaga pukul 4 sebab perut mengeras - selalunya sebab bladder penuh. Sangat mengantuk sebab tadi tidur pun lewat, susah nak lelap mata sebab memikirkan bila nak bersalin hehe tapi tiba-tiba rasa ada air keluar which I thought i peed. So quickly masuk toilet. I thought semacam je banyaknya. Mula rasa cemas dan bulu roma naik. Keluar dari bilik air rasa ada nak keluar lagi. About 5 minutes after that baru lah rasa sure that was air ketuban. So kejutkan Ami yang baru 2 jam tidur. Since air keluar sikit-sikit I did not panick much. Jadi sempat kemas barang and amir n umar pun sibuk bangun jugak. But it was good i can see and talk to them sebelum ke hospital :)

Lepas tinggalkan Amir and Umar kat rumah ibu dia. We went straight to Emergency, by 7 sampai. By the time dah habis buat CTG, contraction makin kuat. Lama jugak nak tunggu doc sampai check dilation. At that time, dah dilate 5-6cm so akan dibawa naik ke labor room. Sangat cemas. He he he tak sangka pula ini harinya.

Memandangkan patient katil sebelah di Emergency tu dah dilated 9cm and kena tolak naik katil terus, saya yang baru 5-6 duduk kat wheelchair ni ditinggalkan sementara waktu ;p lama jugak tunggu, sempat la merasa contraction yang sangat kuat, setiap 5 minit masa duduk kat wheelchair. Waaa nak nangis (sebab takut)

Mungkin around 8 baru sampai labor room. Masa ni contraction dah buat rasa nak meneran. But in my mind, baru 6 mana boleh teran. Kurang sikit cemas. 

Kemudian nurse check jalan, 7cm. Tidak syak lagi kenapa contraction sakit rasa nak teran. Lepas lebih kurang 5 min masuk labor room, Prof datang. Dia kata 'teran teran' maybe berlawak. Lawak cemas namanya. Nurse pun masih lagi pasang drip. Tapi rupanya memang iye dah boleh teran especially mmg rasa nak teran. Alhamdulillah, proses meneran kalini jauh lebih baik dari 2 yang lepas dan jauh lebih singkat. 8.37am adik Amir Umar selamat dilahirkan. Contraction kalini memang lebih sakit and only this time ada rasa nak meneran, so I guess that helps a lot untuk senang teran.

Lebih bersyukur sebab semua dipermudahkan, dari air ketuban pecahnya, sehinggalah ke labor room. Everything s in control. And now (3.23pm) dah boleh rileks2 :)

Again no cut or tear this time,harapnya dipermudahkan lagi untuk berpantang. 

So here u go, our hero (again! X2)

REVIEW: 9th Maternity & Children Expo, 27-29 March 2015 at Mid Valley Exhibition Centre

Awal pagi tadi dah terpacak di Midvalley nak shopping barang-barang baby and abang baby.


Pagi bagi saya, pagi lagi mereka ini sampai dan menunggu depan entrance ....

Sampai kat sana dalam pukul 9.45 (since kata start pukul 10) tapi entah pukul berapa la diorang ni sampai. Syabas!

Exhibition details

Nak lagi details boleh pergi ke website atau facebook event ni atau facebook page maternity and children expo.

List of exhibitor

Maybe kedai-kedai online ada yang tidak ada dalam list ni. So sebenarnya lebih banyak la exhibitor yang participate event ni.

Kebanyakkan maybe almost all products memang murah dan ada diskaun berbanding harga biasa. So worth to go! Especially kalau nak beli diapers, kebanyakkan brand ada and having  promotion. Take note, sila expect Q  yang panjang kalau nak beli Petpet, Drypers, Mamypoko. Tadi saya beli Diapex, tak perlu Q.

Kalini tak banyak pun shopping barang. Sedikit barang newborn seperti baju. Brand yang ada tadi Pureen and Tollyjoy, sepasang baju RM12-RM13. Time ni lah menyesal tak beli baju masa Pureen warehouse sale, RM6 je sepasang. Grrrrrrrrr!

Selain tu, beli barut. Tak ingat nama kedai tapi salah satu tu sebaris dengan booth Spectra. Kedai ni dia jual RM5 sehelai kalau beli 5 helai. Dan perlulah beli dalam kiraan 5, 10, 15 .... kalau 7 helai, yang lagi 2 kira harga normal. Ceit.

Dan lagi satu kedai jual RM7 sehelai, beli 5 free 2. Still sehelai RM5. Ini dari kedai Mydreams Concept.

Ada jenis tali atau strap. I prefer tali sebab kebiasaannya baby saya keluar awal, saiz kecil so kalau tali mudah nak adjust size.

Alright, itu sahaja report untuk kali ini. Pesanan penaja adalah, silalah bawak trolley, luggage atau ada jugak yang ambil trolley dari Aeon hehehe.. Tapi fikir2 kan lah nak bawak trolley Aeon tu sebab kat dalam nanti laluan tak berapa nak beso, dapat pulak lalu kat tepi booth diapers yang mana orang beratur panjang mungkin akan menyebabkan kesesakan lalu lintas.

HAVE FUN SHOPPING!!!!

9th Maternity & Children Expo | No.1 Baby Expo in Malaysia Is BACK!!

Baru tau pasal ni semalam. Masa pregnant kan Umar langsung tak sibuk nak pergi expo, kebanyakkan barang dah ada. But this time, mommy is sooo excited to go!

Baju baby dah banyak tak boleh re-use and macam-macam alasan lagi.


Takde aral, kita jumpa di sana pagi2 esok okay!

Antenatal Checkup at 15w

Yesterday we went for a regular antenatal checkup. This time, macam excited sikit.. To confirm what we have seen during the last checkup. Amir and Umar pun ikut, basically I want them to meet their Atok gynae.

From Kuala Pilah we shoot to HUKM. Yang paling best, it was my birthday yesterday  and special treatment for me was became their driver.

Ketiga-tiga mereka tidur. Ceit.

So, alhamdulillah baby looks normal and healthy. He's measured at 15w4d. (It's a he???) Oh, yes. Insha allah

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

And this is the supplement Prof suggested for me to take.

This supplement is all in one; DHA, multivitamins and mineral. For details click here. According to Prof, this supplement has just been introduced couple of years ago. Before this Prof selalunya prescribe Obimin plus or di hospital lain mungkin prescribe Neurogain.


A little bit history on my current pregnancy;

My LMP was on 4th Dec.

• At my 7 weeks, I went for an ultrasound and the baby is measured at 5w. 2 weeks off. Juga ada brown spots masa early pregnancy made me so nervous. Click here for more.
• Repeat ultrasound after 3 weeks to see if the baby is or not growing. Alhamdulillah, everything was normal. Baby is then measured at 8w, walaupun tak tally dengan pregnancy age tapi tally dengan first measurement.
• 2 mggu lepas tu start checkup di UKMSC, sepatutnya mggu ke-12 pregnancy, baby is measured at 10w, tally dengan measurement sebelumnya. Alhamdulillah sekali lagi.
• 4 minggu lepas pada tu (which is checkup on 23rd March), baby is measured 15w3d. Pregnancy week is 15w4d. Only 1 day different --> mommy adalah happy! So keep growing.. Amir dah sibuk tanya whether the baby is big enough to be delivered. Heuheuheu

Coping with Post-Natal Depression

This is a freelance article by Helen Tarrant.

Women have a much higher lifetime risk of depression than men do, and a significant factor in this level of risk is the hormonal changes that occur during and after pregnancy. While post-natal depression—and depression in general—can run in families, there's no way to predict for sure whether a woman will develop the condition. Therefore it's good to be aware of what the signs and symptoms are, to make it easier to get help if it becomes necessary.

When the Baby Blues Turns into Something More

Many women experience mild and temporary depression symptoms after having a child. This condition is known as the baby blues, and it affects up to 80% of women who give birth. For most women, the symptoms are very mild, and last only a few days or a week. Women who experience the baby blues typically feel weepy, anxious, or irritable, and may also have mild mood swings. Of women who experience the baby blues, around 20% go on to develop a more severe form called post-natal depression.

Why do Women develop Depression After Giving Birth?

Women experience large and sometimes rapid changes in hormone levels during pregnancy and after giving birth to a child. In particular, levels of estrogen and progesterone increase to very high levels during pregnancy, but drop rapidly to pre-pregnancy levels in the few days immediately a woman gives birth. These changes in hormone levels are so quick that it takes time for the body to adjust, and it's thought that this period of adjustment is the reason why women develop the baby blues. In some cases, however, this mild and transient episode triggers a more serious and prolonged depression. When this happens it's referred to as post-natal depression, a condition that can linger for several weeks or months. Women are more likely to develop post-natal depression if they've had episodes of depression in the past, if other family members have been affected by depression, or if they've experienced other significant life events or problems during their pregnancy.

Signs of Post-Natal Depression

The signs of post-natal depression closely mimic those of other forms of depression, with symptoms including feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, anxiety, guilt, and shame; changes in sleeping patterns such as insomnia; difficulty concentrating; and suicidal thoughts. Women who develop post-natal depression may also have trouble bonding with their baby, and this can contribute further to the problem.

Treatment for Post-Natal Depression

Around four-fifths of women experience the baby blues, and this mild form of depression is absolutely normal; however, if the symptoms lasts for longer than ten days or become more severe, a woman is at risk of developing post-natal depression. At this point, it's important to seek support and treatment to enable recovery.

Treatment for depression commonly includes therapy and medication; however, women who are breastfeeding have fewer options for anti-depressant medication due to the risk of the medications being secreted in breast milk. There are a few anti-depressants that are safe for breastfeeding women to take, so breastfeeding women do have some options.

Studies also show that women who breastfeed are less likely to develop post-natal depression, so if you are able to breastfeed it's good to do so. For this reason, doctors don't usually recommend women stop breastfeeding in order to take anti-depressant medication, unless the depression is extremely severe and doesn't respond to other forms of treatment. But remember, if you're not able to breastfeed for any reason, there's absolutely no need to feel guilty, or to worry that your baby's health might be negatively affected. There are definitely benefits to breastfeeding, but babies who are bottle-fed thrive just as well as those who are breastfed.

Support and Self Care

Just as there's no single “right” way to be a parent, there's no “right” way to recover from post-natal depression—it's different for everyone. Some women are able to get through it with family support and therapy, while other women need to take medication for a while. Throughout the depression and treatment, it's important to remember that post-natal depression is nobody's fault, and experiencing this illness doesn't make a woman a bad mother. This is a crucial part of self care, but it's also important to make sure that new parents get plenty of support and help from friends and family, and that a new mother is able to take time out for self care to help her get through those emotional first few days.

 

Sources

Adam Slevin. “Breastfeeding with Postpartum Depression.” Accessed March 4, 2015.

Katherine Stone. “Postpartum Depression Support Organizations.” Accessed March 4, 2015.

Jan Oystein Berle and Olav Spigset (2011). “Anti-depressant Use During Breastfeeding.” In Current Women's Health Review Feb; 7(1): 28-32. Accessed March 4, 2015.

Office on Women's Health. “Depression during and after pregnancy fact sheet.” Accessed March 4, 2015.

Pureen Stock Clearance Sale Is Back!!

Rasanya dah lama tak pergi sale yang macam ni.. Walaupun boleh agak crowd nya masa sale tu nanti, masih consider untuk pergi ;p


Jom lah cuba nasib!

Morning sickness; if only it were limited to the morning.

Bukan sahaja breakfast, malahan lunch, tea time and dinner pun susah nak decide nak makan apa. I usually go for nasi.. Nasi for life! Perut melayu sejati! Tapi sekarang tak lalu nak makan nasi especially malam. Kadang-kadang cuma makan roti and sup. Ini bukan kebiasaan.

Rasanya pregnancy kali ni tekak agak mengada.

During first pregnancy, memang ada sickness especially first timer.. kalau takde sickness pun rasa-rasa mcm ada. It started when I was about to detect the pregnancy. Rasanya sampai 4 bulan jugak baru disappear dan digantikan dengan uncomfortable symptom yang lain.


Second pregnancy; tak ada sickness. Selera makan saya hebat. Resulting to 20kg gained throughout the pregnancy. Mungkin ada pening sikit2, tapi jauh lebih mild berbanding first pregnancy.


Third pregnancy (abortion); pun langsung tidak ada sickness. Berkemungkinan the pregnancy has ended at 6weeks jadi tidak ada apa2 pregnancy symptom yang dialami.


Fourth pregnancy; I wish I have pregnancy sickness. Not having the sickness makes me worry.

"Feeling sick is a good sign that your pregnancy hormone levels are high. On the other hand, not having morning sickness isn't necessarily a bad sign."

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/x1049054/is-it-true-that-morning-sickness-is-a-sign-of-a-healthy-pregnancy#ixzz3THlK2Cyk


The earlier weeks, my sickness was very mild. Only at week 8 until now, 12w - ada masa rasa nak baring dan tak perlu buat / fikir apa-apa. Dia punya pening menikam-nikam jiwa dan kepala.

Coping with the sickness is tough especially if you're having something important to do. And we, working mother always have something or many important things to do be it at work or home. Selalunya my morning sickness tidak pula start pada waktu pagi, so sebelum lapa gile cepat2 makan at least sekeping roti. Dan kebiasaannya sekeping roti adalah tidak cukup ha ha ha
Sampai office atau on the way ke office kena ambil heavy breakfast. Pukul 12 lapa balik, jadi cepat-cepat lunch. Pukul 4 lapa lagi.... begitulah seterusnya. Lapar tapi tak tau tekak nak makan apa. Itu adalah stressful.

Yang paling tak best bila masa tidur perut lapar (insert icon marah disini). Sampai termimpi dah pergi makan.

We know that is difficult to overcome the morning sickness completely. Ada orang makan asam, ok.. But I'm not a fan of asam. Air limau asam boi pun boleh.. Ada yang alas perut dengan biskut in between meals, but I need the real heavy meal yang kena dengan tekak! :)

Ada banyak remedies to overcome pregnancy sickness. I read a lot but the only thing that I commonly do is - stuff your stomach with food ;p I'm just going to enjoy this temporary process, entah bila dapat experience macam ni lagi .... :)

Antenatal Checkup for #myblessingNo4

20 Jan 2015 - I was 5w0d pregnant though according to EDD calculation the pregnancy most likely at its 7w.

3 weeks later, on 10th Feb, I went to KKIA to register and open buku merah or sebenarnya pink he he So used to buku merah. I was a bit nervous before the doctor scan, pray hard to see the baby's heartbeat this time. Alhamdulillah, the baby s growing, we can see the heartbeat, it's measurement was 8w3d. And it's tally with the first scan.

Can't see much huh? I was struggle to see it too.. As long doctor kata okay, i'm one happy mommy. Dan this happy mommy has gained 6kg in the first 2 months. Good job!

And today, 23/2.. We went to see our gynae. In fact haritu baba dah missed nak tgk #blessingNo4.. We do hope our baby keep growing and progressing. I have agood feeling this time sebab the whole week since last week flat disebabkan sickness. The sickness wasn't longer mild. But still I'm grateful, as long that indicates my pregnancy is strong. So, hasil scan harini.. Baby is measured at 10w5d :) dah form tangan and kaki. Tak sampai sebulan I gained another kg. Walaupun claim takde seleara n nauseous he he

Hello there!!

But.... The actual highlight of the day was:

Masa scan, Prof ada mention.. Walaupun masih awal tapi Prof saja bagitau yang nampak macam ada 'coet' kat tengah2 tu.. Hahahaha Okay u know what, let's wait another month :)

Kalau tak XX, XY pun confirm best! ;p

My Blessing No 4

October last year, I had a miscarriage. It did not take a long time before my first period after miscarriage to occur. Early December, I got my period and I was happy because everything seems normal. Then, my period was overdue in Jan. At first, I was worried kalau-kalau period masih belum regular. Hampir 10 hari overdue, barulah buat pregnancy test.

Tahniah, anda pregnant (sekali lagi).


Mestilah happy. Siapa kisah pasal tak ready. Since kali ni ada tarikh period lagi senang hati.


This time I plan untuk tunggu sampai 8-9 weeks before I make appointment for an ultrasound (US). You know the feeling when you look at empty sac, no fetal echo seen, no heartbeat.. It can be very frustrating (it's normal that these cannot be seen at 5-6 weeks of pregnancy). Kalau boleh nak pergi scan dan nampak baby, more promising.

Unfortunately, hari Selasa lepas I found brown spot in the morning and light red spot sebelah petang. Allah. Sedih betul. Maka, teruslah ke Emergency O&G HUKM untuk check. The doctor saw sedikit bleeding but not active bleeding. And transvaginal scan showed I'm 5w0d pregnant. Kalau mengikut kiraan dah 6w4d. This nearly 2 weeks off seems A LOT to me. The only thing we were able to see adalah sac and yolk sac. Setidak-tidaknya kalini nampak yolk sac.

Spotting at early pregnancy can be possibly caused by implantation bleeding, sign of miscarriage atau molar pregnancy (rare). Until miscarriage is confirmed then only we can tell is not an implantation bleeding or others. I think I'm not worried so much on the spotting alone selagi tidak ada bleeding. But the combination of spotting (for 3 days now) AND 2 weeks off of sac measurement = memang menyesakkan dada.

Jadi harini, bagi menyelesaikan persoalan yang bermain di dalam minda, mengurangkan kesesakan di dalam dada, kesusahan di dalam hati - I read some references online.


Went for an ultrasound at 7 weeks and it showed I'm only 5 weeks. Is this possible?

During my first two pregnancies, the measurements were always tally with EDD calculation so I searched for similar case like mine and try to find out the possibilities. Ada ramai yang experience ultrasound (US) giving different measurement at early stage of pregnancy, banyak juga yang the pregnancy will still carry on instead of miscarriage (THERE'S A HOPE!).

• EDD calculation is based on average or what is normal, maybe, I may not be measuring in what they consider within the normal range.
• It could have to do with my ovulation being a little off. The period that I initially thought was normal, maybe the cycle is still crazy after the miscarriage. Maybe my cycle is not 28 days but longer that that. The possibility that I had ovulated 2 weeks later than I thought.
• Babies are growing at different rate in (or even outside) the womb. Maybe the baby is a little slower to develop, not every baby is cookie cutter in size so that could have a lot to do with it.
• Our bodies work in mysterious ways so it could be that the size is making slightly out.
• Although US showing I'm only 5 weeks but it shows a regular pregnancy at week 5 - normal sac and yolk sac is there. No expectation to see the heartbeat until later weeks.

I hope and pray that this will end up with a healthy baby (girl)! Amin. And at the same time preparing myself for the worst.

Aftermath: My Blessing No 3

Nearly a week ago, I was 7-8 weeks pregnant. It was relatively an easy pregnancy for me, no sickness and I enjoyed All-you-can-eat moment. And then, I had a miscarriage.

Last Thursday, Prof Hashim has confirmed that the sac has collapsed. For such case, there are a few possible workarounds includes medical management or a brief surgery known as D&C.

Prof sempat tanya kalau I ada makan since last night, malangnya (atau tidak malang sebenarnya) baru je lepas lunch masa otw ke hospital. Prof kata, kalau x makan lagi boleh buat D&C harini. Before D&C procedure nak kena puasa semalaman. Memandangkan condition saya masih okay, Prof suggest untuk naturally remove the sac/baby. So I was prescribed with Misoprostol to be orally taken within 5 days. Tapi risau jugak selepas ambil ubat kalau-kalau masih perlu buat D&C <insert icon pejam mata kuat-kuat here>

Day 1: Nervous jugak nak ambil ubat ni. Entah macamana sakit la nanti lepas makan. When I asked 'Macam period pain ke Prof?'. He replied 'Slightly more'

glup! 

Day 1 seems fine, bleeding masih normal. Cuma badan mula rasa sakit2 macam nak demam.

Day 2: Masih lagi bleeding yang normal pada awal paginya. Tapi badan makin aching, rasanya selepas bersalin pun tak rasa macam ni. I called kakak tukang urut, mujur dia dapat datang hari yang sama. Lepas urut badan rasa segar sikit and bleeding makin banyak. Lepas urut, I continue with tuam perut. I think that really helps, lebih lancar proses pengeluaran darah tersebut, I guess.

Day 3: Okay. Harini badan rasa sangat tak sihat. Tak tahu lah nak describe macamana, rasa nak demam pun ada. Lebih banyak bleeding and start keluar ketulan. That was a good sign. Tapi setiap kali nak keluar tu, perut bukan main cramp. At times rasa macam contraction. Tuam lagi. Dan kemudian duduk dalam toilet cuba teran. That helps as well. Masa teran barulah ketulan2 keluar. The whole day memang rasa tak sihat.

Day 4: Alhamdulillah I felt much better. Bleeding masih banyak tapi kurang pekat. Body was no longer aching. Masih teruskan tuam perut. Until one time I went to poo-poo, a big 'thing' came out and lepas tu betul2 lega. It was a relief and sad at the same time.

Day 5: Today. Pesan Prof, dah hari ke-5 pergi emergency scan untuk tengok kalau masih ada yang tertinggal.

Awal pagi tadi kami ke O&G Emergency HUKM. There are a few assessment yang diorang akan buat untuk pastikan it's a complete miscarriage.

1. Speculum test (excuse my term) untuk tengok kalau masih ada active bleeding.

2. Ultrasound scan to see the womb condition to see if any remnants of the pregnancy remain in the uterus.

3. Dan kalau ultrasound scan is unable to show clearer view, doctor will perform transvaginal scan.

For my case, there was no active bleeding, rahim dah tertutup/bercantum - it shows a straight line indicates no more sac in there. Bila buat VE, jalan di pangkal cervix pun dah tutup. Rupanya, 'jalan' terbuka semasa keguguran. 

I also had a complete miscarriage, which meant that I didn’t have to schedule a D&C. There were no baby bits left behind that needed scraping out.

Alhamdulillah.

While staring at the ultrasound of my empty uterus was sad and frustrating, my pregnancy has ended, no more babymoon - it also meant that my body was that much closer to “back to normal" and we're ready to Rock&Roll and keep trying! 

Bertenang.. Bertenang... Mommy ni penyabar orangnya ;p

I just hope I can quickly recover physically and emotionally.

My Blessing No 3

I've been waiting to write about my blessing no 3 since many weeks ago. I didn't have a chance until today. But the story that I intend to write at the first place has changed.

Sejak bersalinkan Umar, my menses didn't return. In a way, it's good for family planning :) tapi since dah more than a year, maybe we should be more cautious if we're not yet ready. Speaking about readiness, when can we be really ready? Bila orang tanya bila nak tambah, common answer 'biarlah dulu' sambil senyum kambing. Hehehe Tapi dalam hati, ada baby pun best. Dan bila terfikir bestnya ada baby, terfikir pulak commitment, energy, resources, time, financial yang kita currently ada to offer to that new baby. Buat kita ada second thought. Okay, takde dulu pun xpe. Kebiasaanya akan berbolak-balik, nak - tak nak, nampak baby rasa nak, bila badan penat anak2 buat hal, rasa tak jadi lah nak ;p

Until, the pregnancy test indicates double line, means positive, means you're pregnant, means ready or not here I come!

And the only feeling we have at that time is 'Excitement'. We wont care about readiness anymore :)

Hujung bulan 8, I always thought about being pregnant. I dont have sickness or nauseous yet and my period is due for 1 year and 7 months, so no indication at all. It's just I noticed I started to have a nice round belly and sometimes it's hard. Walaupun antara kemungkinan yang menyebabkan itu berlaku adalah hasil memakan tanpa henti rendang, lemang, nasi himpit masa hari raya, tapi macam ada instinct yang mungkin there's something inside.

I kept on delaying to check. On 4th September, i bought the pregnancy stick, went in to toilet, peed on it and the double lines were quickly appear. Red and clear.

Mulut terlopong. Kemudian, tergelak. Okay, ada nangis kegembiraan sikit. Overwhelmed.

I remember masa Amir, I did the test 3 days before period due, negative. And repeat a day before period due, positive but the line was not that clear.

Jadi agak-gaknya lines yg clear macamni dah berapa minggu lah gamaknya. That night, we went to clinic to scan. It was still very small, doctor assumed it was still 3-4 weeks. I was glad I detected that early so I wont miss to consume supplement required for early pregnancy :) So, this is it.. A mother of two and pregnant with the 3rd one. I am one happy mother.

The following week, 10th Sep I went for antenatal checkup at KKIA Batu 9, Cheras. The plan was first and 2nd trimester just pergi checkup at KKIA then only in my 3rd, we'll go and see my gynae at UKMSC. Cost-efficient.

During the checkup, doc has confirmed I was 4 weeks pregnant. We can't see any fetal echo just yet. I got another appointment one month later, 15 Oct.

I always curious how many weeks is my blessing no 3 already. 3 weeks after the last checkup, I went to a clinic because I was suffering from hemarroid. Sambil menyelam minum air, I request untuk buat scan sekali. The sac has grown, no fetal echo seen yet and the size was 6w0d. Doc cakap maybe memang masih kecil, it's normal to not see the fetus/heartbeat. 

Frankly, I was worried. Last 3 weeks, I was 4 weeks pregnant. But you know, I dont have last menstrual date jadi nothing can verify the most accurate week. Doc suggest I scan semula another week.

I walked to my car and .. burst. My previous pregnancies shown accurate week each week throughout the 9 months. We can see Amir's heartbeat at week 6, the size was 0.57cm. Through readings, there are cases they failed to see the baby at week 6 but weeks later they finally see the heartbeat. That helps to soothe me.

I contacted Prof Hashim, my gynae tru SMS, explained to him about situation amd asked if I can see him the next day. Within minutes, he replied 'Ok, pagi'

Such a relief. 

It took me quite awhile to drive home to pickup kids. It almost maghrib so I stopped at nearby surau. When I almost reach the babysitter house I got a call from my aunt, my uncle was nazak. And soon after that, we learnt that he has passed away. The very next morning we went back to my hometown and reschedule my appointment.

2 days after I went for last scan, 30th September, Prof Hashim has confirmed I am 6 weeks pregnant, the sac looks fine and he can actually see the baby still very small which I can't barely see it ;p

Prof presribed me with Duphaston, hope akan membantu kuatkan rahim. And will see Prof again in two weeks time - mommy can't wait to see your heartbeat!

The week after, which is last Monday. Umar was admitted to KPJ Kajang due to bronchopneumonia. Luckily nothing s serious, he can be discharged three days after. Wednesday morning, 8th October, I found blood spot. Hati runtuh. Since Ami was around and boleh babysit our kids, I took cab to Emergency Hosp Kajang.

At the general emergency department, they scan and one of the doctors said it's too small for 6-7 weeks but he saw the heartbeat. Senang hati mommy. Later, they brought me to klinik O&G. *At HUKM, you can go directly go to emergency O&G. Lebih mudah.

Di Klinik O&G the checked and confirmed no active bleeding. Lagi senang hati. Kemudian, buat transvaginal ultrasound so we can get more accurate reading.

And it shows, the pregnancy was 6w0d and no heartbeat at all. Sebahagian hati runtuh lagi. Since kes ini cuma blood spot, dan pregnancy baru 5-6 mggu pada mereka, saya disarankan datang seminggu lagi atau bila lebih banyak darah keluar. *kalau mengikut calculation saya; sekiranya sekarang memang saya 6 mggu pregnant adakah maksudnya masa saya buat test awal bulan lepas saya 0-1 week pregnant? Impossible.

Takpelah kita jumpa lagi seminggu. 

Selesai urusan discharge Umar pada haritu, we were finally home. Unpack bags, kemas rumah sikit2. I noticed makin bleeding. They were not spots anymore. Get an appointment with Prof Hashim for the next day.

Since dah cuti 2 hari sebab jaga Umar, Khamis pagi, 9th October I went to conduct my lecture, buat class ararngement for Friday (today) and the following week in case I'll be on medical leave. I rushed to do a number of things before 1pm, kalau boleh nak jumpa Prof seawal pukul 2pm. Perut makin cramp and I was still bleeding. Around 1-ish baru betul2 setel, packed my bags and ready to go. But I just can't. I know I wont have the baby. Stucked at my desk.  I cried. I hold back my feelings for too long. Tapi nak buat macamana kan, itulah dia yang berlaku. Takpelah nangis kejap, jap lagi berhenti and I'll continue walking.

Once done, drove myself to UKMSC.

Nearly 3pm, baru dapat jumpa Prof. Bila scan, it's confirmed the sac has collapsed. Prof suggest makan ubat untuk jatuhkan sac, mungkin tak perlu buat D&C. Next week pergi scan untuk confirm if the womb is clear. Okay Prof! I expected this to happen, sedih tapi xpelah.

Kemudian I sat near to pharmacy counter. They called my name and explained how to take the medication. The moment he passed the medication to me, I broke down again. Cemas kejap pharmacist tu, sian dia. Hahaha

I walked out but could not walk far. I sat again at the bench outside clinic, cover my face with my tudung and here we go clearing lungs and tears again. It's official that I had a miscarriage.

Allah knows better. He has a better plan for us. I told Amir last night that there's no more baby in my tummy. He hugged mommy and sambung main hehehe

The fact that my child is waiting for me in Jannah, the happiness that Allah lend to us for the past month, the feeling of waking up every morning with reasons - i'm expecting a baby, will see him/her soon in 7 months :- Ini semua pun rezeki. After all, I'm sincerely grateful atas apa yang berlaku. Certain things we have to let go while many others we still have the chance to keep.

First ultrasound to confirm pregnancy, 3-4 weeks.

The last seen sac at 6 weeks.

I found this since my first pregnancy, such a beautiful quote.

Products Review

Nak review some of products yang digunakan during and post pregnancy


1. Kordel's supplement for women (multi vitamin)

2. Palmer's cocoa butter formula
I constantly used this for my 2nd pregnancy, no appearance of stretch marks at all.

3. Earth Mana Bottom Spray
Kadang-kadang masa pregnant ada rasa sore at mommy's bottom so boleh spart this after urinate. Or for normal use after sexual intercourse.

4. Mothercare perineal gel
Yang ni I nak highlight lebih sikit ;p
Masa pregnant with Amir, tak tau lagi pasal ni. Bila ingat balik kena epi dan jahit, then Amir warded sbb jaundice menyebabkan mommy terpaksa berjalan banyak, setiap kali berjalan akan caused swollen and it took a month for the stiches to heal.

So I declare epi is scary! Huhu

2nd pregnancy i tried perineal gel, alhamdulillah no tear. Tapi dalam labor room i kept reminding Prof not to 'cut' me hehehe but still ada kemungkinan unt tear sendiri, kata Prof pulak mengingatkan I hehe

5. Sebamed diaper cream
This cream works wonder for my both babies. Bila notice ada melecet, merah-merah terus letak, the next day dah kurang.

6. Mothercare liquid talc
Sama ja function macam powder talc but I love it simply because bau wangi nya than lama and xperlu kepuh-kepuhkan muk. Sebab liquid so akan di absorb oleh akin.

7. Shaklee breastfeeding set - ESP and alfafa
I believe consuming these really help my milk production. Compare to masa Amir dulu especially masa newborn, susu lebih banyak dan cepat di produce and pekat.

Other than these, kalau nak banyakkan ill i minum milkmaid tea brand Earth Mama and horlicks. Horlicks paling best dah tidak sabar untuk minum ;p



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2nd Pregnancy : Welcome 3rd Trimester!

3rd trimester? Really??

Okey, itu macam comment sarcastic supervisor kat proposal I  :p


Ah, time flies! Now, that's cliche.


Pregnancy

Sebetulnya, sebelum ni memang kurang rasa macam tengah preggy. Tak ada sickness sangat.. no frequent trip to toilet... belum ada backpain.. It was like honeymoon. Kadang-kadang tak realize yang tengah pregnant sehinggalah mata memandang ke bawah dan tidak nampak kaki.

Sekarang tidak lagi. Harini genap 28 minggu. Though my due date is still months away, bermula pada hari Isnin yang lepas, rasanya macam all of sudden badan sangat tidak larat, jalannya perlahan, sakit belakang, sakit kat bahagian bawah perut. I just can't walk faster than a tortoise. Wow, now i remember how does it feels being pregnant. Kalau time duduk, of course okay.. once bangun, rasa tertarik urat pinggang. Dulu, officemate selalu tegur lajunya jalan.. Sekarang, antara comment mereka ialah...

'Allah, kesiannya...'

'You okay tak?'

'Berapa lama ambil masa sampai sini? Dah nampak dari jauh, tapi tak sampai-sampai..'


Hahahaha Ko tunggu lagi 5 bulan ye, aku kejar ko!


Sedikit cemas hari Isnin lepas bila dah start rasa perut mengeras for certain period of times.. Huhuhu



Preparation

Walaupun orang kata, anak ke-2 banyak barang tak payah beli, tapi end up banyak jugak le dah dibeli. Bezanya kalini banyak save masa membeli berbanding dulu sebab dah boleh properly plan and haunt sales yang hebat-hebat tu. Kebanyakkan barang-barang besar dah tak perlu beli tapi adalah barang-barang lain upgrade barang yang dibeli masa Amir dulu.

Now, tinggal nak pack baju baby dalam bag. It may sounds early, tapi mengimbau experience masa Amir dulu, minggu 31 dah masuk hospital due to TPL.


Dulu ada buat entry pasal stretch mark, biasalah topik hangat masa pregnant. Antara remedy yang popular ialah Bio oil atau Palmer's Cocoa Butter formula.

First pregnancy, for the the first trimester I guna cocoa butter (Pureen). Malangnya, I sapu dekat tummy je, so masa 4 bulan preggy, stretch marks appear di tempat-tempat lain. Then I switched to Bio oil, mana tau lebih power kuasanya. Well, it works fine with  me, no new stretch mark tapi kat mana yang dah ada tu.. tak dapek den nak nolong eh do.. Only after post-delivery barulah stretch mark a bit disappear.

This time, I pakai Palmer's Cocoa Butter. Murah sikit kan... I actually like the texture and how it being absorbed when you apply to your skin. Compare to Bio oil, berminyak sikit.. selalu tak tau nak lap tangan kat mana lepas apply to my body. And, surprisingly... until now, no new stretch marks at all. Yang lama pun makin invisible. So, yes.. I suka si cocoa butter ni. And once you applied to your skin, rasa kulit selembut bayi ;p I hope husband likes it either.. Hehehehe The first bottle last until the 6th month, now baru beli botol baru.

What else pending, sikit2 barang baby like mattress cover, cotton wool etc.. nak tunggu J-card day (ada lagi nak beli??).. I can always add items to my list ;p Like anytime! Set lepas bersalin... belum bersungguh-sungguh survey lagi and tukang urut lepas bersalin yang boleh masakkan lunch.

And nak setup baby cot baby, I know akan ada orang yang lebih excited dari mommy bila dah pasang cot nanti.. Yup, Amir.


Antenatal Checkup

Baru last Monday pergi checkup dengan Prof Hashim. Again, we all bawak Amir tengok baby. Yang dia excited kan nak main dekat play area kat klinik tu. Bila nurse called my name, dia berlari masuk bilik Prof Hashim. Ciet. Tapi bila Prof kata 'Meh salam atuk'  Terus senyap. Hehe sweet aje Prof bahasakan diri atuk. Bermaksud mommy adalah sangat muda. Jyeah!

Okay, baby dah slightly heavier than 1kg. Sementara mommy pula sudah menjangkau 60kg. Bermakna peningkat naik sebanyak 15kg. First pregnancy, masa 36 minggu baru naik 60kg. Bermaksud dah boleh lah start fikir exercise apa yang boleh dibuat sejurus selepas bersalin.

Gambar scan pun dah tak clear, and baby still tutup muka pakai tangan. Tak lenguh ke nak oi, tangan kat situ je.. buatlah regangan sikit.. menggeliat ke.. which I never experience that yet kalini. Masa abang awak dulu, selamba ja dia seret siku.. kaki.. kat perut mommy.


Amir Hidayat Syah

Mana boleh tak cerita pasal dia kan. One thing to share, dah berjaya weaning off breastfeeding!

Actually, sedih jugakkan. At first, I don't mind langsung kalau Amir nak breastfeed sampai 2 tahun lebih pun. When I got to know I'm pregnant, I realized soon akan kene weaning off.. But I have no rush. I'm certain it won't harm my pregnancy walaupun ada some people say so.. Siap ada yang cakap dalam Islam pun dilarang menyusukan ketika pregnant - which actually No. I found hadith pasal ni. I have shared it in my FB if not in my blog. Ayo, rasa nak nangis masa ada orang cakap macamtu.. Masa tu Amir baru je nak masuk 2 tahun, which I really want to breastfeed him at least until 2 years old.

But soon bila 4 months pregnant, dah start rasa sore kalau Amir menyusu. That was when I started to tell Amir nanti dia tak boleh 'nen' lagi dah. Siannya dia... He understands tapi biasalah refuse to do it masa tu kan. Tak cukup dengan cakap, kadang2 kitaorang psiko Amir... Hehe Baba pun terlibat ye.

Baba promised him to buy more toys kalau dia tak nen.

Nanti dia kata 'Amir tak nak toys! Huh!'

Pastu kitaorang cakap nak beli kan dia rabbit. Bila masa dia convinced dengan janji manis kami, dia tak nen lah. Tapi lain kali masih nen jugak. Then I told him, nen is for baby. Nanti dia kata 'Mommy, Amir nak jadi baby' Maksudnya nak nen. Amir dah tak use the term 'nen' thereafter. Dia kata nak jadi baby je. Lagi I cakap nen not for big boy. Before this always claimed himself as a big boy. Lepas tu dia kata 'Amir small lah! Amir small boy'

So I gave him condition, nen masa nak tidur aje lah. Jadinya bila-bila dia nak nen regardless siang atau malam dia kata 'Amir nak tidur' sambil tutup mata tapi terkelip-kelip.


Huwaaaa.. Memang dah dijangkakan susah. Until the 5th month, memang sangat irritating bila Amir breastfeed. So mommy start untuk lebih strict. Ada lah 2-3 kali, I berkeras langsung tak nak bagi and buat tak tau to his demand. Meraung lah anak bujang mommy sekejap then he settled down. Deep down in my heart, rasa nak bagi je kan.

And alhamdulillah, since 3 weeks ago.. Amir dah tak demand nak nen lagi. Tapi dia gurau-gurau macam nak nen aje, mengesel-gesel kat mommy. Huhuhuhu. Kesian dey... But he's happy with his bottle now. He asked one after another hehehe Cuma masa tidur still nak tidur celah ketiak mommy, macam tengah breastfeed. Sweet.


Study

Dah berkurun tak update my other blog for my PhD. Tu namanya betul-betul busy kan. Last night was my final class for this semester, one more subject to be completed. Pagi tadi baru submit paper for conference. At the same time preparing my proposal for proposal defense next February. Sebulan sebelum due date, harap sempat dan diberi kesihatan. Lepas tu barulah dapat menarik nafas lega buat seketika before field work.

Now that I'm clearing my annual leave, and enjoying my holiday dengan aktiviti-aktiviti bermanfaat seperti membaca journal, revise proposal, prepare for final exam, some office works and last but not least aktiviti mengemas rumah. It won't feel like a holiday I bet. But then, dapatlah mommy spend more time with Amir at home. Like now, tengah update blog.. Amir baru terjaga and jerit 'Mommmyyyy!'


Okay, I'm coming!