Monday, August 15, 2011

Are you ready for another one?


No one can answer that question but us, is it a tough one. But if you remember, it was even harder when to decide when is the best time to have the first child - because it's not merely on having a child but it's about changing a family. With each new child we have to think about how that baby will affect our lifestyle, finances, work, and relationships. Well, if u ask anyone - friends, family, spouse or doctors, they absolutely have a different opinion on perfect baby timing and the perfect family size. Anyhow, there's no right or wrong to our decision, as a Muslim we believe it's rezeki. Not to mention we need to think rationally and being practical as well. So it's good if we don't rush and take sweet time to weigh the pros and cons.

For my case, Ami and I prefer to have neither a large family nor parents of only children. We both had siblings, and of course we want Amir to has siblings too. It's gonna be fun for the entire family. So for us the decision to have another child is more about when than whether. And plenty wonder if there's an ideal interval between children. At the beginning, we are certain that we should wait until Amir reaches at least 3-4 years old then only start think about having another one. Plus, Amir was so fussy during his babyhood, you think mommy can handle another baby, worst case if she/he also a colicky baby??? :p   It was N to the O, at that moment. Now Amir had become a calmer toddler, is it best to have children one right after the other so they can play together and we get all our childrearing done in the shortest time? Hurm.

So I did a ground study to address this question;

From researchers - While they can't say definitively that every woman should wait two to three years between births, many studies do settle roughly on that time frame. And so do most families: According to the Alan Guttmacher Institute, the average interval between first and second births is about 30 months for American women.

If you're in the midst of planning having another baby sure geram mendegar kata researcher ni kan. Hehe. But ya, here's a rundown of the research on ideal baby spacing:
  • Waiting 18 to 23 months after the birth of your last child before conceiving another seems best for the new baby's health. Having a gap of less than 17 months is associated with a significantly increased risk of having a baby of prematurely and underweight.
  • Mother's body needs time to recover from the stress of giving birth and replenish all the nutrients she lost as a result of the first pregnancy. For example, it may be that increased blood flow to the uterus from the last pregnancy benefits the next baby, but that there is a limited time window of about two years before blood flow returns to pre-pregnancy levels.
  • When your first is under one year or over four years is the ideal time in terms of the children's relationships with their parents, sibling rivalry, and their own self-esteem. children under one don't have a sense of their special status yet, and that those over four have had enough time to enjoy attention from Mummy and Daddy, plus they now have a life of their own. 
*The third point sounds encouraging ;p

Those are suggested by experts based on their studies, that's what they can suggest as the best practice. We ourselves may have our very own observation of successful stories from friends or relatives. Again, there's no wrong or right answer. We will eventually cope with overwhelming responsibilities when we have more than one child but when it comes to financial, there's always a big question mark. True, money isn't everything, but we do need some financial stability when we're raising a family. As a parent, we don't mind to spend little extra money for our child from diaper to food - whichever claims that they're the best. So think again, if we can afford do the same to number 2.

To be extra certain of my so called prospect-decision to have another one in anytime soon, I took a quiz this morning. Quiz: Are You Ready for Another Child?

The result suggests:

You may want another child, but it sounds like you also have some issues to think about. Before deciding to have another baby, consider how much it would cost, how your other children might react to a new arrival, and if you can handle any more stresses.If you and your partner can't reach a consensus, consider seeing a family counselor.

Hehehe. A bit of disagreement. But it's just for entertainment and/or educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for your decision. If you and your partner agree, but the result of the quiz disagree (huh!) then what does the heart say? Hmm, I think I should talk to my mind instead. Ok, dig for some more info.

Took another quiz from babyzone: Are you ready for another baby?  and wish the result oppose the first result's idea ;p

Well, what are you waiting for? You're clearly ready to add to your family if you've determined you've got the energy, the money, and the patience it takes! Good luck and happy baby-making!

Yeay! HAHAHA. Purposely answered 'Yes' to most of the questions, memang lah kan. Dishonesty. But there's one question make me ponder around..
Have you considered outside obstacles you might encounter? A child with a disability, an aging parent? Do you feel comfortable with the "what ifs" life brings?     Yes or No

Here's the result of What's the ideal spacing between children? poll.

Talking about fact still.

Well honestly, the memory of spending my first pregnancy with my head over a toilet bowl was still very fresh. And before I even had a chance to worry about morning sickness, I was turning green - not in the bathroom in the car, Ami had to stopped the car, I quickly opened the door in second then that's it! But now, I think.. just think; the morning sickness was no shocker, but what did take me by surprise was that this time it didn't really faze me. While I holed up during my first pregnancy, now I'm on my feet chasing, carrying, cuddling Amir from sunrise till sunset. I can't wait to go back from work, patientlessly to reach my family. The back aching, the art or what we usually called stretch marks, the non-stop trip to toilet from month 1 to 9, the pain of delivery, the sleepless night, the high-pitch cries, the smelly baby's milk spit up everywhere - most important, I'd learned that the discomfort wouldn't last forever and that it would be repaid a million times over with a perfect, precious little person. 


Over mak ngko ni Amir, siap pilih color 'Pink' dan botak - satu genetik lah konon ;p

Anyway, joke is a joke. This entry meant to share info about planning your second pregnancy :)  Not much related to what the writer feels. Ecece.

7 comments on "Are you ready for another one?"

MyRule on August 15, 2011 at 8:59 PM said...

NUr..good entry.. Miss bau baby..:)
Kalau 18M minima gap dia..sudah boleh bagi Ammar adik la kalau camtu.. :)

Nur on August 15, 2011 at 9:01 PM said...

ala u dah boleh ek.. I kene tunggu lagi lahh, xsabar hehehe

wardah @ fie shah on August 15, 2011 at 9:36 PM said...

point no 2 tu I setuju sgt! mom needs time to recover from lastbirth stress! haha

aZiEaNa AbU hAsSaN on August 15, 2011 at 10:02 PM said...
good, with proper planning hehe
azie dulu teraccident about 17 months
but as like u said...its rezeki from ALLAH...insyaALLAH tak kisah la bila ALLAH nak bagi rezeki zuriat lg, yang penting Dia tahu waktu tu adalah yg paling sesuai utk kita :) peace mom!

sweetlavender86 on August 15, 2011 at 10:29 PM said...

i mule2 planning.mcm2 try amek injection n mkn pil.tahun ni stop mkn pil buln 1.igt saje nk stop skejap sbb bdn naik.budget bleh kurus la.haha.lepas 2 bulan preggy balik.adoii.subur betul.tuh pun dah habis budget n berhati2.excident jugak ;p nasib baik due tahun depan.mase tu nnti my 1st child dah nk msuk 1 thn 11 bulan.beza 2 thun gak la.hehehee..klu jenis subur mmg betul2 kene jage la.skejap je bleh preggy.dulu doc x bgi i amek injection sbb die ckp nnti bile nk dpt 2nd baby susah.tapi bergntung pada rezeki masing2 ;)

ederq on August 16, 2011 at 7:44 PM said...

hihi yeke tak related ni :p

Maznie Omar on August 17, 2011 at 2:58 AM said...

Pendapat saya, discuss dgn husband dia nk gap berapa lama.. Sb kdg2 melibatkn kewangan.. If u both bkerja dn kewangan stabil x jd masalah.. Kebaikkn gap ni cthnya mcm saya alami bila 1st kid, nk masuk darjah 1(7y/o) dan 2nd(4y/o) kid nk masuk pre school masa tu budget boleh diadjust dgn baik..Now i tgh pregnant 3rd, I x de maid, ank 1st tolong mana yg boleh mcm vakum, cuci toilet ke, kemas mainan bersepah ke..emm, tapi rezeki allah dh tentukn bila..kita boleh rancang tp kne tetap beringat yg kita x semestinya confirm dpt gap/ concived balik ikut masa yg kita nk tp x salah klu kita just cuba. Sorry sb pjg sgt i bebel.. Topik u post ni sgt interesting! :)

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